Daniel Songer is a YouTube sensation: screenwriter, poet, comedian, and much more. I have decided to analyze, in depth, at least all 240 of his currently posted videos in 365 days.
Timeline.
June 5th, 2007. This video has reached just over 1200 views. This video is phenomenally disliked at 2-8. There are four comments, none of which are particularly clever or interesting. Four years ago johnnymilkshark said "You're a butterfly." So you get why I'm not diving in too deep here. In the description, there's a dedication: "Dedication to Jesus Christ." We've established Daniel Songer's religiousness, but this is the first time he's put something like this in the description.
Presentation.
This whole entry isn't going to be very long. The most I get to do is in this section right here, since the content has already been examined back in October. Before I get into any of the gesticulations, I feel the need to point out that this is a new low. He's trying to do opera, which is a very niche skill and not easy even for the most talented and practiced. So how bad will it be for someone who just woke up one day, without talent, and decided to sing opera? In presentation, Dan's overwrought gestures fit the cliche concept of opera, and he seems to take to it pretty well, given he only understands things via stereotypes.
His style of singing has changed, for what it's worth. He's still not particularly good at hitting any notes, but he sure knows how to hold his voice at the same place. Actually, he really can't do that either. So he's just elongating the hell out of everything he was saying in the poem version of this song. Because that's opera.
His types of gestures are still very limited. He holds his hand out. Just longer. He holds his hat for a second, and then turns it into holding his hand out agaiin. Just longer. He does the invisible microphone, which is about the least classiest thing one can do when attempting something as classy as opera. He reaches up and then holds his hands out in front of him. Again. Just longer. Around 0:35 he does a really quick motion and throws his hand upwards. I'm really uncertain what kind of effect he's going for here. I can't even begin to count how many damned times he opens and closes his right hand as to feign some sort of feeling. Jesus Christ, man, you're not fooling anyone.
I'm glad there's no lengthy introduction in this one. Also, I'm amused that now we can see a house in the background somewhere in rural America. Still, there's something far greater going on here that is almost unnoticable: his camera is not on a tripod. Did you hear that? His camera is being held by someone. Someone is recording this poor man? I'm certain of it. The camera shakes enough in the way that it's being held by someone, rather than just affected by wind, and there are other moments where it's clear the camera is deliberately following Dan. Who did he get to record him? Does he have family or friends who are willing to go along with this torture? I suppose this would be long in the What exactly is going on section, but I'm willing to forego that since I don't have much to analyze this time around. Who could possibly be recording this? I would feel bad for them if I thought they were forced to do this. I imagine this is someone who considers themselves more of an "encouragment" when really they're what we call a "detriment." You know these people. Someone who thinks it's a good idea to lie to someone when all they're doing is embarrassing themselves.
Content. See the former blog. Dan doesn't know how to create images or establish rhythm. This will be the mantra of this blog.
What exactly is going on?
See the final paragraph. There is likely someone who thinks it's best to lie to this man. Someone so willing to commit to this embarrassing lie they will record him. They are the worst. You. You're more of the problem than Daniel Songer. There are no words for the feelings you incite within me. You shall never know peace. You shall never understand the horrors that you have unleashed. And I regret to consider that you shall never truly feel the regret and sorrow you so deserve to bear.
Video 5/240 Day 64/365 (I know, I need to pick up the pace!)
Timeline.
June 5th, 2007. Just as with the poems, the songs are all uploaded on the same day from the same footage. This video, sadly, isn't quite up to 1600 views. The last video had over 4500, so I wasn't surprised that it was "monetized" with commercials, but this video has also been monetized. Oh Dan, are you hoping to make a few dollars out of this YouTube career? This is actually the first video with more likes than dislikes, just tipped into the favored 7-6. This one, interestingly enough, has incurred the most comments thus far (that's nine whole comments). One of them, made by ajcraig99, is the observation, "1.06 itchy leg?" I will venture to confirm this in the presentation section. Goreesha promises to buy the song if Mr. Songer puts it on iTunes. Finally, sir rscrob confesses, "I hope, I really hope, that this man was bullied in high school." To wish such harm on a life clearly filled with plentiful disfortune is a true mystery to me.
Presentation.
To start off, Daniel Songer expresses this amusingly genuine surprised greeting, "Oh hey!" It's as if we snuck up on him in his backyard, hoping for him to break out into song. Indeed, if I could find the man, perhaps I would endeavor to do so. Please god no. He does not let go of that hat for a good seven seconds. I have no idea why unless he's just that afraid the wind will steal it. It is funny, though, to note that he holds as if he is riding a bull. Yes, this is the only way in which to hold a cowboy hat on. Giddy up yeehaw good ol' stereotypin'. Once again he is introducing himself as a true Renaissance Man, adding that he "even" wrote a couple of screenplays. It reveals a little defensiveness, as if you already know he's full of shit. Because he knows it. We all know it. Just pretend, though, pretend.
I'm going to avoid analyzing what he goes into next, even though I'm really excited to talk about it, since it belongs more in the content section. I do want to point out here, though, that he seems to be choking up almost, like he's moved to talk about his "purpose in life" as a singer/songwriter. This purpose doesn't last very long, though, does it Mr. Dan "Comedy Act" Poet Man? He is then adjusting his pants in the back galore while he holds up his songbook. At this point Dan seems to be feigning his excitement and gesticulations. I'm not sure if this is nervousness again, but I would put my bets on that. He really does seem uncomfortable here, and I think it's because he genuinely thinks this is his calling and he really wants to do this right.
In the beginning of the song, starting around 1:00, it seems like his fake microphone just fades into being a hand slightly in front of him. The best part is around 1:04, however, when it turns into a subtle air guitar just below the frame, by his right hip. It lasts a good long while. Yes, he does it until 1:18 where he finally lifts his hand up in a fist to emphasize "the fight." Sorry ajcraig99, I'm pretty sure this is not an itchy leg. It's a vaguely committed air guitar that last fourteen awkward seconds. Who am I kidding? Every second of Daniel Songer is an awkward second.
Finally Dan the Poet Man brings back that gesticulating hand. Perhaps its the fact that he doesn't have the songs memorized, thus one hand being busy with the songbook, or that he seems honestly uncomfortable at times, but his normal-for-Dan overwrought gestures have been lacking outside of the poetry readings. Ending the weird itchy-leg-air-guitar, he does a fist for "fight," a hand out to the audience with his eyes closed in passion for "tomorrow," and then he brings that fist back to pound it down onto the air. Yeah, you fight that air Mr. Badass. He does it again, he does a little lasso (I think), and then moves into something strange. I'm pretty sure it's the middle-aged-I'm-dancing dance where he is fo-snapping his fingers, arm bent at the elbow, and elbow to the waist. Sometimes it goes back into that vague-itchy-leg-air-guitar, which is now a coined phrase and official move designed by Dan Poet Man, as far as I'm concerned. It's indicative of awkwardness and discomfort, again, because he can't commit to one particular motion. That's an early rule of theater or presentation, commit to a movement and follow through.
The fake microphone resurfaces for half a second around 1:43 amidst the Middle-Aged-I'm-Dancing Dance, but it finally reaches a moment of bloom around 1:50. Normally, however, he really favors that fist up or hand up thing in order to provide a level of intensity. But there's a moment at 1:58 that I want to highlight because he also scrunches in his shoulders with the invisible microphone. I have absolutely no idea what's going on here, and it's fascinating. Is he cold? Is it supposed to be "intense?" Or is he really that awkward right now? Pause it and consider it a moment. He might even be in pain or something. It's weird.
Intensity. I don't think Daniel Songer will ever know how to encourage intensity other than volume or ridiculous gesticulation. He lifts his hand up and pushes it out to the camera and the sky at 2:00, reaching up to the heavens for some sort of power or intensity. Reaching to the sky is often done either in spite of heavenly forces or in order to channel them. Or so I, Mr. Genius, would think. My point is that though his hand his out in a way that would express "NO STOP PLEASE" I really think it's meant to be pulling power and intensity from the Almighty. And if you follow to his next movement, Almighty has been directly pulled into that invisible microphone. That stupid fucking invisible microphone.Talk about failing to achieve some sort of intensity.
Dan also is bouncing up and down like crazy during this song. It's like he's moving to invisible music that is accompanying his song, or that there's truly a crowd behind the camera, or that we, sitting in front of our computers, are truly compelled to scream out, pump our fists, and bounce up and down with him. There are a number of those songs that are designed to be sung either with or by the audience. The worst one I can think off the top of my head was P.O.D.'s song "Youth of a Nation."Yes, that's a real song. It's during all of this bouncing and "fight fight fight" and "right right right" air-pounding that Mr. Songer does when I begin to think that perhaps this song is also designed to be sung with or by the crowd of people at a live show. I'm serious, I think in his head there's not just invisible band members and music and a stupid fucking microphone with him, I think he's feeding off of the invisible crowd in front of him, too. And, you know, despite his complete lack of creativity and sincere effort to educate himself in these vocations before decidedly claiming he's a part of them, I've got to say that at least he's got a decent imagination. Sure, it would certainly benefit from reading a book or getting an education before he considers himself a writer or a singer, but at least he's fucking imaginative.
He actually pulls of a spin at 2:11, and then he turns his head strangely as some sort of expression of "twisting." Let's not also forget how Daniel Songer has gotten so into this song now that he's practically out of breath, his face is red, and I'm seriously damn fearful of him passing out mid-song. I'm pretty sure the twist, head turn, and hat grab, along with his feet that are off frame, that he also has some form of dance in mind that everyone should be doing along with him as well. Somewhere around 2:44, also, I think he's just out of ideas about how to move. Everything from here on out is more or less a repeat, but he does also end the song with a very contrived and hilarious "Yeah!" which only belongs at the end of eighties movies.
Content.
The first major thing to note is that Dan the Poet Man exhibits, for the first time, something resembling self-awareness, nay, even self-criticism. Before he even starts singing he says, "I may need some help in the department of singin', but uh, you know what they say, 'practice makes perfect.'" Since he uploaded all these videos on the same day, I don't think he was reacting to any YouTube comments on his singing voice. What bothers me here is, if he knows he can't sing, then why in the hell is he making videos of himself singing and uploading them onto YouTube for all to see? And no, good practice makes perfect. If I keep kicking my feet awkwardly every day, I don't suddenly know how to line dance. It doesn't work that way.
I want to emphasize that this song is meant to be a Country song. This is going to be a part of my analysis throughout, because I really don't think this song has much in the way of design that can really call itself Country. Also, just to point out, the description refers to "Country Song Gone WILD." Whatever that means. On this note, I feel the need to analyze Daniel Songer's introduction of this song as Country.
Country. I know y'all country people out there love the Country music.
First off, he has never used the term "y'all" before, and I'm even noticing a deliberate move to give his voice a draw or twang. It's fake and stupid and pandering and I hate it--and I don't even like Country music. I also just love the astute observation that all those country people love "the" Country music. Why is it "the" Country music, anyway? I'm pretty sure it's just another fake way for Mr. Songer to attempt to sound southern, because his cliche southern voice he's suddenly donned also seems to think that country people are stupid. I just love that there Country music! Stop. Just stop. Let's continue.
And it's comin' up, isn't it? It's just...so enlightening and it makes you smile and keeps you movin' forward.
It's coming up? In 2007? It's already "come up" forever ago. Coming up? Is Country music the next big thing? I really don't get this part. Country music is old and draws from classic rock, and it's been evolving just like any other genre of music (whether or not you like that evolution), and in no way is it new or somehow "coming up." I can't stand this, because it comes off just as pandering as this whole fake accent thing he's doing, which wasn't even done right from the beginning. It's like, once talking about Country music, he suddenly feels the need to act like Country music. I imagine if Daniel Songer ever had a conversation with someone who spoke in broken English, he would start to talk in broken English back to them. Not as a means of communicating better, just because he's so easily influenced. And, to add to that pander, he stumbles as he finds the words "enlightening" "smile" and "movin' forward." These terms could not be more vague or applicable to a great many things.
Then the song starts. And the pain. Oh, so much pain.
I'm a night dreamer and a day gleamer!
And I'm locked in memorable lane.
I dwell in the good times,
but the bad times try to consume
the magic of yesterday!
What. The. Actual. Fuck. RobotBacon, who has now made his second appearance as a commenter on Dan Poet Man's videos, notes in a comment the phrase "day gleamer." What in the world is a "day gleamer?" First off, the word "gleamer" is not a real word, so I suspect that Dan is taking some poetic license on this one. The word "gleam" is usually meant to be a focused source of light, like flash or beam. So I assume that Mr. Songer is a man that gleams day. He is flashing or shooting off a beam of daylight or something. I suppose I've actually analyzed this phrase into something understandable, but I have to really emphasize the need to stop and take a minute before comprehending such a ridiculous phrase. Let's also not forget just how much it sounds like a disturbing sexual innuendo.
The creative juices then really begin to clog in the following lines. No imagery, no metaphor, just teenage-style "symoblism" known as "the feeling is the name of a place now." So, imagine that Daniel is locked in a place called "Memorable Lane." I imagine this as a road, what with the word "lane" involved. Now it's not "Memory" lane, because he'd be stealing a well-known colloquialism, so the word "Memorable" feigns some sort of creativity and originality. Instead, however, this image has become a road that is memorable. But when we call something memorable, we don't really think of it as amazing or special, just something interesting enough that we won't forget it. So he might as well be singing "Slighty Interesting Lane." So Dan's locked in some above average road--which makes no sense visually, since it's he would be on the lane, not in it, but whatever--and now he also lives in "the good times." Maybe this is a part of town on the Memorable Lane. He's in The Good Times Valley, all the while worrying about The Bad Times Mountain trying to consume the magic of yesterday. Okay, I'm really lost. What's going on?
There's no way for this to make sense, I'm sorry. The inconsistency of the image is too frustrating and complicated to ever put it into an ordered world. "Words are supposed to have meaning, Daniel," I imagine his mother saying. "You can't just say things in a certain tone with a certain sound and expect them to communicate anything." This really is a new low for his lyrical prowess. He's locked inside a memorable road living in the good times, but the bad times are trying to eat the magic of yesterday. I'm not fucking sure what the magic of yesterday is or what it has to do with anything, needless to say how it's supposed to be getting eaten by the bad times. On a completely theoretical level, I guess I can see what he's trying to say, which is basically: "I'm locked in a place full of memories. I like to remember the good times, but sometimes I remember the bad times, and that makes me sad. I don't like to remember the bad times, because I like to think about how awesome things used to be." Or something like that.
I remember life's atrocities.
So I don't repeat them.
And now today I hold on
To the fight!
For the magic of tomorrow!
My assumption is that this is what would resemble a pre-chorus. It's nice to know that, even at the bottom of the outhouse, deep in the shit slosh, they remember structure. I guess that takes away a lot from pop music though, doesn't it? There's nothing very complicated here. Dan's poetic nature leaves nothing to be desired. Yeah, from an eighth-grade writer. So, uniquely, Daniel Songer remembers the past in order to not make the same mistakes. And today he fights, hoping for magic tomorrow. Oh surprise, hoping, magic, and tomorrow. The theme of this man's whole life, apparently.
I wanna FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!
I need what is RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT!
I'm twistin' in Memorable Lane.
I'm twistin'
I'm twistin'
I'm twistin' in Memorable Lane!
Once again, Dan leaves nothing to the imagination. That's probably a good thing, considering how bad he is at creating images. You know that even a small change in these lyrics would show even the slightest bit of skill or thought process, or that thing called drafting. I almost wrote the second line of the--stifle your vomit--chorus down wrong because I was inherently trying to connect two lines. Why not "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" for what is "RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT?" Instead the chorus is just three disconnected sentences, one of which is just so clever and catchy we've got to repeat it with a little build up. There's also an amusing bravado hiding in these lyrics here, but that's something I want to get into later.
I guess the following is actually just supposed to be its own thing, possibly a post-chorus/intro or something. It's the two lines he sang before the first "verse." "I'm a night dreamer and a day gleamer! And I'm locked in memorable lane." I so terribly wish to be a day gleamer. Let's get into the second verse, shall we?
The fire is at my feet.
And by standing still I sink like...CONCRETE!
I've got to keep movin' on.
And watch out for the chance
to catapault into paradise!
Okay, so Dan the Poet Man gets a little more poetic, again. Do we dare try analyzing these rhymes? Or rather, rhyme? Please stop. So "the fire is at my feet" is pretty self-explanatory. This comes from an old phrase to hold someone's "feet to the fire." It's basically "torture someone to consent to your will." I can get behind that. So Mr. Songer is being tested, I guess, and the world, I think, is trying to make him into something else. He follows with an awkwardly written and delivered rhyme (no rhythm, as usual) that implies he isn't moving to this will. He stands still, but by doing so he sinks like concrete. This is a new image: concrete in water. I assume the world is also water and gravity, pulling him down, because he's sturdy and consistent like CONCRETE, even with the fire at his feet. Or water. Whatever. Consistent images are for the weak.
And as much as I like my interpretation and consider it not entirely stupid, the following line betrays the concept of Daniel being strong, firm, and still, because he has to keep "movin' on." And then we get basic and literal again, with him looking for a chance to shoot himself via catapault into paradise, which I can only assume is either a good life or heaven. If he stays still too long he'll sink and drown, get pulled down by all that every day bullshit and his past. But I suppose the image he wanted with "fire at my feet" had nothing to do with the standard saying that's used regularly, but something that is right behind him, trying to light him on fire. Literal, I guess, as always. It would have been okay if he stayed with that image. Sometimes you can do a lot with one metaphor. The problem is that he quickly moves to the concept of concrete and sinking, which all reminds us of the mob bosses with their concrete shoes. Not a bad image, but it's really done more for the sake of rhyming feet with concrete, all at the expense of the images, consistency, and that thing called communication. For a Poet Man like Dan, it's all about the sound, even if that sound is gibberish.
What follows is the chorus and that thing I'm going to call the post-chorus. And then I think we've reached the bridge. It's a two-parter, because the "rhythm" changes pretty abruptly after this, so let's just look at these lines first.
Memorable Lane is now.
A swinging door (?)
Forever I will create my memories
by the induction of pure heart.
And we'll...the will is...to conquer the fight!
Once you think you've got it all figured out, once you think you're on the same page as the Almighty Artist, once you have that feeling like you know what's coming and it's so obvious, that's when The Master changes gears on you. And Daniel Songer is nothing if not a Master. Okay, so he's nothing. "Memorable Lane is now," is it? Well, that certainly changes everything. I really appreciate you saying something so direct after an entire song with this poorly defined lane. In fact, the only word to really describe this lane has always been the word memorable, an adjectival form of the word memory, which is something always in relation to things in the past. You know: not now. Instead, suddenly, after all this time, that past slightly-interesting (memorable) lane is current, happening now. I suppose I could take this as some artistic notion that we are creating these memorable moments in the present, "now," if you will, but if you're going to have the song take an artistic turn, the bridge is something to help us make that turn. It's not, however, a time for you to explain that you're suddenly changing the meaning of a phrase in the song, in order to add that layer. For instance, a novelist, poet, or songwriter knows (usually knows) that the story is really about something deeper than we originally think it is, just like parts of our lives! So a song that sounds like a whiny break up with a girl, slowly it reveals interesting facts and issues through images, and then suddenly you realize, based on those images, that this song is about a falling out with god. What if, though, instead of slowly divulging images to make that concept clear, within the bridge, you just wrote a simply line "It's not a woman that broke my heart, it's the non-existence of an eternal creator and judge." Hey, same thing, right? Yeah, minus all the art.
Sorry, there's a little bitterness over that line. The following line is unclear to me, it might also a be a "swindle" or "scandle." Regardless, it's a stupid line and that really just fills space with a random image. Words have meaning, Daniel. Speaking of words and their definitions, anyone want to cover the word "induction" in this context? He creates memories--which sounds like something your mother would say to you when you're five and miserable, "create a memory"--and he does this by the "induction of pure heart." Okay, so creating a memory, which I assume is the same way we all create memories, by living, and these ideas are connected with the word "by." So in a way, this is how these memories are created, by "the induction of pure heart." Here we are at the word induction, which I'm confident Dan has no fucking idea what this word means and just heard it at his work or something. Induction is a formal way of putting someone (or something) into an office. So his heart has been put into office, apparently. The office of creating stupid memories like this one.
Finally, Dan begins to lose his spot here, finishing with "the will is to conquer the fight." I still don't know what "the fight" is, but who cares? Certainly not Mr. Songer. We're not trying to establish anything sensible, just say things that sound cool to a middle schooler. I guess we could argue that "the fight" is life or something. Whatever who cares.
The challenge brings the extreme.
The one [who] wants destiny makes the DREAM!
This part is apparently a jig-dance that builds back into the chorus. Basically what he's saying here is "you need to be challenged in order to accomplish great things." You know, what we've all heard since we were kids. It's the equivalent of "no pain no gain." But this part is so catchy! Don't you just want to dance to it? This is still one of those parts where we can easily understand what he means because we've been listening to him so often. It doesn't mean the words actually make sense when broken down. For example, if you want to make "the dream," which does make sense, you've got to want destiny, which makes no sense. Destiny happens whether you want it or not, that's the very meaning of destiny. You remember the Emperor telling Luke Skywalker, "It is your destiny," don't you? He's saying Luke has no say in the matter, he should just give in and accept his purpose, his obvious call. If anything, the fact that Luke challenged the concept of his destiny is what made him great, not the other way around. It would be that Daniel Songer "wants" his destiny, though, because that would still leave all the work to some outside force pushing him into what he was "meant to do." No hard work neccessary!
And then we finish on the same old chorus. If that change in the bridge I talked about was really an artistic move, the chorus should change or have new meaning. Does it? I don't think so. But perhaps we can make something up! That's the purpose of the following section!
What exactly is going on?
There are a few things going on that are worth exploring, and I'm pretty certain Dan the Poet Man is unaware of these elements. The first is the obvious: how is this country? There's no twang. There's no ice cold beer, boots, pick up trucks, dropped tailgates, honky tonks, or the-all-important Jesus. There's just a cowboy hat and an attempt at a jig. Does he think fighting and needing what is "RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT" makes it country? Speaking of which...
What is with the tough guy bravado going on in this song? It's not enough to just yell "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT" and "RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT," he's got to yell a lot. I thought Queen of the Thunder yelled a lot, but he's just so big and strong and FUCKING ANGRY. I think that's part of what Dan thinks is country. It's just being "a man." So much so that he's got to yell out the word fight, as if this is going to get everyone in the crowd pumped up to fight with him. He even does the fist shake, as if there's an invisible audience yelling it along with him, doing that stupid fist shake as well. I mentioned that Mr. Songer doesn't fight fight fight for what is right right right, he just wants to fight, and just so happens to also need what is right. This is actually more telling than just poor lyricism, because there's a reason he was drawn to keep these lines disconnected: it's bravado. It's fake manliness. He doesn't actually want to but his fists where his mouth is. He's a coward. You know how loud and obnoxious little dogs are, even though they're little and harmless little assholes? That's what's happening here.
My biggest recurring issue with this song, especially, is Dan's inability to properly communicate. You're just getting pissed about that now? It's not that he hasn't had this issue before, but it's reached a new level in this video. Lines like, "It's comin' up" when talking about country music, or phrases such as "day gleamer" and "induction of pure heart." At some point it becomes abundantly clear that one day he just woke up and considered himself a writer. He didn't sit down and read a book or two on music and writing, read books and songs, write and redraft them, and begin to really understand his own voice and methodolgy. He just decided one day to be this stuff and that he could do it. Hell, anyone can do it! So his voice is a hodgepodge of different popularized "poetry" and "songs," without any real understanding of them, anyways. Country, to Dan, is saying "y'all" and "comin' up," and cutting the g out of the present progressive form of words. That's using the word sayin' instead of saying for those that aren't grammarfags. Country is just saying "twistin'" and maybe actually spinning around, grabbing your cowboy hat and turning your head awkwardly to the left or right, as if that's some sort of country dance. And imagery is just another form of being literal to him. Poetry and songwriting is just about being able to rhyme and maybe hit a note or grab an invisible microphone. The elements are such a misunderstanding of simple surface-level elements that aren't even necessarily indicative of the things he wants them to be. A cowboy hat doesn't equal country music. Dancing or getting the crowd to yell out isn't unique to country, either. And some of the greatest poems out there don't rhyme or have poor attempts at rhythm, they just hold a metaphor or an image and communicate through it. His understanding of these "callings" is so flimsy and based on such little knowledge, it's no wonder he's such an embarassment. You're only ever as good as your talent and your influence can allow. Your influence doesn't have to be amazing (Tarantino loved his B movies), but you have to be familiar with your influences and techniques within that in order to do something creative with them. You also need to have talent. And the more you lack in the latter, the more work you have to do in the former. And since Daniel Songer has virtually no talent, he needs to a lot more of the homework side of things. But he doesn't. And that's where he truly fails.
Timeline.
June 5th, 2007. This uploaded only three days after he uploaded his three poems. This is edited very similarly to his poems. This one has been viewed far more than any of his poetry has, however, over 4500 times. It has 13 likes and 20 dislikes, so it's still pretty heavily disdained, but this one also has eleven comments, including two top commenters. Halo0freak (with four thumbs up) claims to know Daniel Songer personally, saying his dad and Dan are best friends. I'm not sure I really believe him, but I also don't know why he would care to lie. RobotBacon points out a part he finds particularly amusing, and he got two thumbs up for it. There are other comments of note, but my favorite is from Stereobarf, who politely tells Daniel that he needs to take singing lessons.
Presentation.
The biggest highlight for me on this thing is that, despite his editing technique where he is pausing and playing this video in the upper right corner, Dan is nowhere to be found as the video begins. He's clearly got the camera on the tripod, about to run out in front of the camera. Why can't he just edit this part out? I don't know, maybe it's his thing, whatever.
So, as a song, Dan the Poet Man has created a completely new atmosphere from his poems. Now we're outdoors, specifically in Dan's rural suburban back yard. I don't know, maybe I'm going a little crazy from watching these videos, but I really like this change in scenery. I'm probably a little crazy already. It's certainly cheap and kind of funny, but for Daniel Songer Standards(tm) this is pretty nice. I think that small space in front of the fireplace, all that clothing, and seeing Dan from head to toe, all together provided a very claustrophobic feeling. The outdoors is almost a literal breath of fresh air. And it's not just the outdoors, it's his outfit, too. Just a nice button-up collar, no suit jacket, no tie, and definitely no goddamn hat. At the beginning of this video, I'm not actually to upset. He's not going to have as much to fiddle with, he won't be able to crouch because he'll be off camera, and all things considered, this presentation actually feels honest and genuine. So, Daniel Songer is being honest?
Let me explain: Everything about Dan's presentation as Poet was extremely fake and pretentious. He was trying to embody some image that he felt fit a poet persona. From his clothing to where he decided to film, which was naturally in front of a fireplace and a generic painting. It was clearly not something Mr. Songer would normally wear or how he would normally act. Perhaps this location and dress fits his singer persona, but I would argue, regardless, that this still fits more his actual personality. Even when he walks into the frame, he turns and smiles pretty naturally with a loud and exuberant, "HEY!" I think I'm falling in love.
Okay, I think I've exhausted the positive. Immediately following his entrance, Dan introduces himself, making sure to note that he is a singer, song writer, poet, and he's "a dancer, too." I don't recall him mentioning this in the opening of his first poem, which makes me think this is an added interest he's taken on. Just like with the poems, he needs to show off his books, though it looks like he just printed out his manuscripts, rather than buy the versions he self-published. Kind of removes a level of authority behind that whole, "I'm a writer" thing. Why does he feel the need to show us these? In what way does this serve anything? I really don't get the showing them just to clearly drop them in the grass. He could always put links in the description, but instead all that does is talk about him briefly in the third person. Did you also notice is "author photo" on the back of his one book of songs? I want that picture.
My favorite part of all this is his lead in to singing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." There's a part around 0:48 where he looks completely away from the camera while he adjusts his pants, which he then follows by running his hands through his hair. He's blinking a lot here, using a number of "uhs," and I can't help but think he's gotten suddenly very nervous. I don't think there's necessarily anyone too close by that he's noticing, I really think that he's just genuinely nervous to sing. Usually this is a sign. He even puts his hand up to his mouth, too. And without much warning, he just starts singing. Well, if you can call it that.
Right as he starts, he holds his left hand up to his mouth as if holding an invisible microphone. I love the invisible microphone. He puts it down quickly, though, maybe even being a bit self-conscious. Over and over, then, he lifts up his left hand in that awkward not entirely open way, then opens it, then re-not-entirely-closes-it, and puts it down. Rinse and repeat. He does this at least five times. At least. It slightly varies, but it's not until around 1:29 where he holds onto "you," where he keeps the hand up and open long enough for it to be considered a change in this pattern. He is also swinging his hips just ever so slightly and awkwardly. And then, slowly but surely as Daniel Songer's passionate "singing" crescendoes, he can no longer keep himself from the invisible microphone. It makes for a beautiful screencap. I'm going to make this into a meme.
And there's no holding back once we get here. Whatever nervousness and trepidation he might have felt at the beginning of this song, it's washed away while he tone-deafly belts to the sky, sprinkling invisible rain on himself. He brings back that hand wash movement which occasionally turns into the invisible microphone. I also thoroughly enjoy his eyes close because he must be enjoying himself that much. I have to hand it to him, for a guy with such little talent and skill, he definitely approaches everything with a lot of passion.
As abruptly as he began singing, he drops his gaze immediately to his song book and says in a low voice, "thank you." He opened up in song, but it really does seem like he's really awkward about it. He is quickly paging through his songbook, and he's even self-conscious enough to use the phrase "I like to consider myself," rather than just forthrightly saying he is "a Christian song writer," as he more or less did in the opening. And then the video just ends. I really have to say, at least all the others attempted to create a stopping point. This one just ends, "I'd like to share, uh," END.
Content.
Originally I figured that the lyrics of this song weren't Daniel's own, assuming they were just B.J. Thomas's "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head." I was going to just move on, especially since I discussed much of the introductory and conclusive material surrounding the song was in the presentation section. All I was planning to do was just question exactly how right Mr. Stereobarf really was about those singing lessons. And I will. Believe me, I will. But I had gotten my hopes up, based really just on title recognition, that I wouldn't have to discuss Dan's writing again. But, alas, I really do. And it really doesn't take long to reconsider this whole project, does it?
The tune of the song is clearly robbed directly from Thomas's song, but for some reason after the first line he is allowed to make up his own lyrics. They also happen to avoid a little thing we call making sense, too. Just consider the first two lines.
Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And that ain't the way I feel about you, babe
What? WHAT?! What does raindrops falling on my head have anything to do with the way I feel about someone? It's a sad image? But she doesn't make him sad? I'm really just offended by this. There's no other way to explain it.
Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'll never ever the rain from keep fallin'
I'm seriously considering the idea that he just made these up on the spot. I don't mean when he apparently san this at some concert. Did he really sing this at something called "The Doobie Brothers Concert?" I mean that right now, while he's recording this, he's making this shit up. It's the best explanation, because even in my stretch of trying to understand the first two lines, they are contradicted (if that's really even possible with such nonsense) by the following two lines. I say this because now he would never stop the rain from falling. Also, crying isn't for him. Whatever. Trying to break this stuff down is actually making me angry.
That is why all the girls in town
Follow me all around
Just like you, they long to be
Close to me
Why do the girls follow him around? Is it because he'll never stop the rain from falling? Because I didn't realize he actually had that power, or that the girls would follow him around because of it. Are they wearing umbrellas? Please tell me they're wearing umbrellas.
On the day that I was born the angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true
No. They didn't. They really, really didn't.
So they sprinkled [something] in my hair and in my eyes so blue!
It gets way too intense here for me to figure out exactly what is being sprinkled in his hair and eyes. Also, remember the "eyes so blue" line. I'm pretty sure this comes back. Most importantly, this is the first time it seems Dan is just a confident man. He's just so badass that when he was born, angels got together to sprinkle something awesome onto him. I guess he's always been a dream come true, even in his poetry. His smile was something you would "always adore," etc. It's just he's not waiting for love. Instead, all the girls and "you," who I assume is his love, long to be close to him. I guess it is still about love, and again, it's not like he needs to be with them, they want to be with him. So there is still a hint of passiveness involved. He just needs or has people who already see his beauty. And then, finally, he returns to what must be the chorus or refrain, which is the four lines about the girls and "you." And then, thankfully, it's over.
Now I don't need to explain the basic tenets of music or anything, because anyone, whether capable or not of singing themselves, can easily hear that Mr. Songer is not a singer. Instead of trying to go through and point to the notes he's reaching vs. the notes he should be reaching, which would be a feat of its own and done by someone who can figure out notes by hearing them pretty reliably, I'm just going to note my favorite humorously bad parts: Around 1:34 he tries to be especially musical in his singing "me." It's all especially off key. Right around 1:44 he is singing about creating "a dream come true," but he's so out of breath I don't here the "a." It gets worse as he continues, because he's not entirely decipherable, and I'm pretty sure he actually skips over the word "eyes" in "eyes so blue." And he's also just yelling by this point.
What exactly is going on?
As I sort of noted in the content section, it's clear that Daniel Songer is extremely full of himself. I never really got to this part in the poems, but it was more subtle there. The idea is always that the woman or women needed to come to him, but there was also just this idea that he's just so fucking awesome and they just had to see it. Because he's not just a reality, ladies, he's a dream. And he's so damn awesome that on the day he was born, the angels got together to make a dream come true, and that's Dan the Poet Man. He's got something awesome sprinkled in his hair and his "eyes so blue." Mmm, those eyes are so blue. Alright then, Dan, you're an amazing catch. Good thing the ladies are already following you "all around."
From the presentation section, though, you might have gathered I was hinting at something else, which is that in this one, especially, he is really awkward. He starts and ends very suddenly, unlike any of the poems. In the poems he fiddles with his jacket, pants, tie, whatever is nearby. In this one he just "uhs" and looks off camera a lot, which is more awkward than than before. I honestly think he's actually a little uncomfortable about singing on camera. I'm not sure it's a layer of self-consiousness about his tone-deaf singing, though. It's clear, once he finally loosens up, that he really lets the song take him away, and I think he's actually awkward because it makes him somewhat vulnerable. Just like I said about the location and his dress, it seems that even if this is the singer persona, it's more aligned with his actual personality. What I mean is, I think he's sincerely opening up here.
Timeline.
June 2nd, 2007. The last of the poems, this room, and this outfit. All three were updated on the same day and clearly edited from the same footage. This one comes in at a humble third place in views, too, totaling just over 1500. It has six likes and seven dislikes. It has only three comments. Four years ago johnnymilkshark wrote "You are one of a kind." Three years ago felixcostello wrote, very astutely, "what the FUCK." Indeed, felix, indeed. Finally, only three months ago (showing people are still stumbling across Daniel Songer and the ass-end of the internet), Mr. angrygrunt commented, "u suck." All of these commenters show their own uniqe and accurate insight.
Presentation.
You would think by now, given this is the third video of Dan the Poet Man from the same footage, that I would be out of insight into his presentation. It's true that I've exhausted much, if not all, there is to his overused gesticulations, ridiculous outfit, and bland setting. It's true that I've explored much of the poor editing. But is it true I've said all there is to say? Yes. No! I'm just getting started! This video's gesticulations strike with avengence, bringing in a whole new breed of weird and stroke-like physicalization! You thought there was nothing left to say about Daniel Songer crouching? You. Thought. Wrong.
These things have begun to make me nauseous: putting his hand out up and open, leaving his hand off to the side awkwardly and not fully closed, putting his hands up in a W, fiddling with his pants, jacket, or tie, gesturing to the air with his right hand, and when he thinks yelling his poem somehow provides intensity.
So the crouching only happens twice in this video, which is still two times too many, but in the analysis of Mr. Songer, it's a relief. Notice, in the first crouch around 0:19, where he is clearly pulling up his pant legs so he can get down. He doesn't even do it smoothly. Not that it isn't already awkward and weird, but now it's embarassing. Also, in the second crouch around 0:50, did you notice anything else he just won't stop doing? Fiddling with that damned tie. A huge part of these videos is performance. Dan clearly understands this: over gesticulating, spinning around, wearing that hat, but he doesn't rehearse, film again, or even know the basics. This is the kind of stuff you do in the mirror, alone with the door shut. The stuff you do on film and stage takes time and practice. Not to mention this thing we call effort. It's strikingly obvious, not just in the stupid things he thinks are a good idea, but more emphatically in these little things he's less conscious of, that he is just winging it. It's true that he's written these poems, but even these poems come off as extremely early rough drafts done by an eighth grader. He clearly has never exposed them to sincere, in depth criticism, whether from himself or others, and it's highly unlikely he's ever changed them from their first incarnation. And this bleeds more heavily in these three videos, all clearly edited from one straight shot of footage, that he takes the same approach in his acting. This is not okay.
The only thing I noticed that's particularly new is a circular motion Dan makes with his hand. It happens around 0:43 when he says, "I came to Atlanta" and at 1:04 when he says, "I traveled all over the world." So whenever you're trying to tell someone of your travels, and you want to express that physically (if, say, English is their second language or they're hard of hearing), the best way to do it is to lift your right hand up and spin it around in a circle. Either do it at the wrist like he does the first time, with his index finger out, so you basically look like gay dancer, or torque at the elbow with your hand completely open, so it looks like you're wafting some horrible smell out of your ear. Seriously, what made him think that these motions in any way capture or emphasize what he's saying? I can't find any reasonable justification for this that isn't stretching thin. So let's stretch! Spinning your hand around captures "around" really well! Normally you would do that in front of you, not up and to the right, and usually with both hands, and even that is still kind of weird, but whatever. The finger in the first one was somehow pointing to an invisible globe with Atlanta on it. That's why he implements the index finger the first time and not the second.
One final thing about Dan's presentation, given that this is the last of his poetry videos: I don't think I can properly emphasize just exactly how bad his presentation is. The best way for me to try and explain it is to describe an alternative. Imagine Daniel Songer was just a bit more flexible, energetic, expressive, or eccentric. More eccentric? More eccentric in his physicality, less monotonous, dull, and redundant. This is why he crosses that threshold from comically bad to painfully bad. What if he ran in place, put his hand up to shield his eyes from a pretend sun and scanned that room? What if he stopped, pointed at the camera, as if he had found the love of his life? You know, as if he was the host of Blues Clues or some other children's show. At least then he would be funny. One of these videos might have even gone viral. Instead, he does the same things over and over again. There is not a single gesticulation in any video that he only does once. This is the depth of the horror that is watching Dan the Poet Man. This is the heart of the awful awful beast.
Content.
My Georgia Peach is absolutely shocking at times. This poem, unlike "I'm a Statue" or "Queen of the Thunder," truly takes me by surprise and even makes me feel uncomfortable. Any religious undertones in the first two, such as "hope and pray," are suddenly full blown Bible belt religious right homophobic preaching. It practically comes out of nowhere in the poem itself, too.
You can be a woman, or you could be a girl.
Open your heart, and you'll find beauty.
Just as you open a shell to find a beautiful pearl.
You can put on your business look, or you can put on your athletic wear.
You can put on your birthday suit,
if you dare.
Today we have police women, muscle-bound women, and women who search for their career.
Out of all the women in this world,
It is the transvestites, I fear.
The first stanza is standard for Daniel Songer Poetry(tm). It's just awkward, shitty rhythm about love and a woman. Originally I just thought he was trying to be funny with the next stanza, but under the surface it is extremely creepy and mysoginistic. Right now he's talking to a woman, or a girl, and she has apparently three looks she could do: business, athletic, or naked. Wink wink women (or girls who like pedophiles), you can put on your birthday suit. If you dare. Really Dan, as if you weren't creepy enough? And the next stanza increases this exponentially. It turns into a preachy, almost "did you know?!" poem, where today we live in a world where women can be police officers, have muscles, or even careers! Get back in the kitchen. And the creepy, mysoginistic, backwards frosting on this fucked up sundae comes courtesy of the last line in the third stanza. Out of all kinds of women, he fears tranvestites. All the women...transvestites...women...transvestites... Of course, my first thought is Quagmire from Family Guy, constantly hitting on women at bars, desperate and over compensating, always with an undertone of homosexuality. Holy crap.
I'm not sure what Mr. Songer's goal is in this poem, what exactly his overall message and theme of the poem are. From the first three stanzas, it sounds like he's talking about how every girl, no matter what she wears, on the inside is a beautiful pearl. Even if she is one of them strong career-type women that exist now. Just not transvestites. Ew. The following stanzas are where it seems to turn into something preachy, some sort of religious message for his audience, when originally it seemed to be about "My Georgia Peach." You know, Dan just waiting for love, as always.
God created man and woman in his image and gave us the opportunity to excel
I came to Atlanta to implement my career
And to find a beautiful angel they call the Southern Belle
The first stanza seems to emphasize "man and woman in his image," as if to make sure we know that transvestites are not a part of God's plan. They're gross and weird and ew. Ew. I still find it funny how he says "I came to Atlanta" because it's the gayest thing I've seen him do. I'm also really uncertain about his use of the word "implement." I think it might work, but you have to stretch it or go with its fourth definition. In the final line we seem to get back to what I think is the original purpose of this poem: Dan's ideal lady. That being said, it's still awfully mysoginistic. Isn't the Southern Belle a more old south thing? "Well I do say there, Mr. Songer, your cotton looks mighty fine today. I made you some tea while you sit out here on this porch smokin' your pipe." But it quickly dissolves back into that weird homophobic right wing message as he continues.
There's a lot of women in this world,
and you hope to find a woman that won't be a pretender.
My angel will come to me
And for her my heart I will surrender.
You hope to find a woman that won't be a pretender. You know, it's not really the first thing I'm worried about. Hell, it's not even the 100th thing I'm worried about. It's kind of something that I only worry about if she pulls down her pants and has a penis. When I'm out looking for love, my first thought isn't whether or not she's a transvestite. I'm really starting to wonder about Daniel Songer's past. More importantly, is his real sexual preference, but more on that later. Also, did you notice again that his angel will come to him? He's certainly never going to be the one going to her: passive passive passive. I also can't stand that he feels the need to yell at me, "FOR HER MY HEART I WILL SURRENDER." I get it, geez.
I traveled all over the world to give love and the word of god, to teach
the South is where I want to be
and to live my life as one with god
as well as my Georgia peach
So I don't really see Dan as the master of the sentence structure, and this by no means proves me wrong. That first line is just atrocious. I feel like he could have just given love and the word of god, but for some reason he felt the need to add "to teach" at the end. I also don't entirely understand why he feels that the South is necessary in order to live his "life as one with god." Hang on, let's get really nitpicky for a second. Did you notice the use of the word "as" in this? Don't most people just live their life one with god? Think of it like this: "to live my life one with god." Isn't that enough? What purpose, exactly, does the word "as" serve in this sentence? Yes, I'm seriously asking! All the word "as" does here is weaken the conviction and image Dan the Poet Man is creating. Basically, he isn't going to live his life one with god, he's going to life his life as one with god, like being one with god, kind of similarly to living life one with god. I guess he's not too confident in his abilities to be an extreme Southern religous individual. Only in his fear of transvestites, maybe. And finally, in the last line, we get the title. Whatever.
What exactly is going on?
I don't feel I really need to reiterate his passiveness for love. I've gotten into this a bit, but Daniel Songer reveals an intensely religous side and some serious homophobia. The "women" he fears most are tranvestites, and the logistics of that sentence aside, he feels the need to emphasize this issue when he hopes the woman he finds "won't be a pretender." What does his search for love have to do with transvestites? Can't he let them do their thing and he can do his? Of course not, because "god created man and woman in his image," which--even though includes the ability to give/have sex changes--does not include pretenders. And in addition to his overwhelming fear of "fake women," Dan's "traveled to Atlanta" motion is, without a doubt, really gay. This is not to say he necessarily has to be gay because he does a motion that's really effeminate, but it's clear that there is a side to himself he fears. Oh Mr. Untrained-Not-Actually-A-Psychologist thinks he can claim Daniel Songer is projecting his fear of himself onto transvestites. I'm not claiming to have some sort of reliable knowledge when it comes to the study of Psychology, I'm just calling it like I see it. And it seems to me that Daniel Songer is scared of transvestites and is kind of effeminate. Draw whatever conclusions from that you want.
But it's really the religious overtones that got me in this one. Atlanta, The South, living life "as" one with god, god creating "man and woman in his image," etc. It's fine to believe in god and--in this particular religion--Jesus, and sure, you know, preach it if you want, but it's how it ties in with the rest of his views. Dan notes that he wants to be in The South, because, I assume, that the Bible Belt has better Christians. Whatever-who-cares-deal-with-it. Couple this with his notion "the Southern Belle," and the "informative" stanza about how today we have "police women," hell, even "muscle-bound women!" That's so crazy! Fine, so Dan is from another era, but notice that he still wants a woman from that previous era, the not-really-in-existent-anymore Southern Belle. Certainly in these days we've got them police women, but hell if I still don't want me a good ol' home cookin' honey. Meh, I don't really care. He wants what he wants. Still, it's revealing.
Timeline.
June 2nd, 2007. Likely uploaded right after I'm a Statue (Poem Version). This one tops the previous one with a little over 1900 views. Five likes and sixteen dislikes, this one seems to be more hated. The only vaguely interesting comment is by mvpkent, who writes, "Jack of many trades. Master of NONE!" And it has two thumbs up. I tried to stalk two of the four commenters--because they were encouraging--but results were inconclusive. My guess is they're just assholes.
Presentation.
So, clearly edited from the same footage, Daniel Songer recites his poem "Queen of the Thunder." Part of me wonders how exactly he is editing this footage, because though you might not have noticed the pause symbol in the top right corner at the end of "I'm a Statue," the play symbol at the beginning of this one is obvious. To make the beginning of this video more awkward, it is clearly in mid-sentence. Not to mention he is still fiddling with that goddamn tie.
I'd like to do for you. It's called Queen of the Thunder.
My assumption is he cut off "The next poem," but if that is really the case, then why am I still seeing that damn play symbol? Also, this calls into question not just Dan's editing skills, but more importantly: Is it possible that he was embarrassed by the way he delivered that line? Why else would he have edited it out? Enough speculation. It really is entirely likely that he was working off cheap editing software and just had no clue what he was doing. I think that explanation might be the mantra of this blog.
There's not much to add, obviously, from the "I'm a Statue (Poem Version)," when it comes to the setting or Dan's dress, demeanor, and delivery. He's still a cliché poet from the mind of a child, talking in a "fancy" voice, and still throwing his arms around like he's having a stroke. There are few subtle differences in his gestures and vocals, however. I think he's running out of gestures and "razzle dazzle." And as for his vocals, well, I'll get to that.
I thought he was bad in the last video. It goes to show just exactly how naive I really am. It's only going to get worse, my friends. Do you really want to take this ride all the way to the end? He's still doing that stupid thing with his hand where it's not really closed, but it's with his left hand now, so I know it can't be a particular injury or something. My best guess is that he's just never learned how to actually make a decent fist or he has a birth defect. There's another mantra. He opens his arms up and out six times as if he's making a W. If that's not bad enough, the fourth time he does it he spins around. He fucking spins around?! I really don't have an explanation for this. The opening of the arms is supposed to be a grand gesture and to the sky, which he repeats because he's not creative enough to find other ways to make us feel like The Queen of the Thunder is big and amazing. Even that might be giving him too much credit. But the deeper I explore the spinning, the more confused and frustrated I am. I really don't know what he thinks he's doing. I was going to compare his poetry to a bad play, but that's not really any closer.
You know what else he does even more this time? Crouching. I had a field day making fun of Mr. Songer for crouching down while reciting "I'm a Statue." It was this amazing discovery I made where he was too damned lazy to get down on one knee because he would have to get back up too soon. And now it's like he's already jumped the shark, on his second poem, crouching at three different times. I'm starting to think that crouching isn't lazy because it's not one knee but because he's actually too tired to stand the whole time. No, see, because this is DanPoetMan and that would make too much sense. He actually thinks all of these gesticulations are in some way indicative of the deeper meaning in his poetry. Somehow all these movements--all four of them that he does over and over again--are just the natural physicalization to his material. Perhaps the moments of crouching are meant to be intimate, kind of like I suggested previously. Still, though, he did this three times and they last nearly ten seconds each. How much intimacy do you need? Let's not ask him that.
He yells a lot in this one. I mean, he's really loud. The logic behind this is quite simple, though. It's relieving to me sometimes that I can actually figure out Daniel Songer's rationale. This should not be so comforting. He's loud because this is about thunder. I'm really surprised he's not opening and closing his hands and yelling "crackow!" So instead he just yells things that we're supposed to imagine as being loud. "THE THUNDER ROARED" subtext: Thunder is loud. It roars like my voice. Imagine the loudness of the thunder. The subtext to this subtext: Dan doesn't think very highly of his audience. He doesn't expect us to know or be able to imagine thunder roaring, that it's loud, or that we could apropriately imagine being shocked or frightened at this moment. I wonder if he just assumes we're as smart as he is. I don't think he's deliberately being condecending. I think this is just indicative of a larger problem: He's trying to be a one man play.
Content.
The first thing I did was consider the title. Is "Queen of the Thunder" a reference to something? Could this be a Greek god or some similar allusion? No. Why even spend time asking that? I really wanted to believe that maybe Mr. Songer would consider one of the most essential elements to writing poetry: allusions. Oscar Wilde, among many Victorian poets, loved constantly referencing to Greek gods just to show off. Maybe there was more to it. T.S. Eliot is known for his allusions being so damned innocuous that he gave us footnotes. I'm not expecting Dan to be pretentious or anything, but especially when dealing with something weather-related, there's a ton of poetry and lore out there. If you're going to join that large collection of narrative and poetry, you should make some allusion. Don't even mention Thor? That's one even us shlums know, we've seen him in action blockbusters! Alright fine whateverwhocares.
The rhythm is still all wrong and it pisses me off. Not to mention how some of the images don't even make sense.
THE LIGHTNING FLASHED! Then I heard the thunder roar.
As I gazed up, the love of my life came walking through the door.
First, let me explain to you the rhythm within these two lines. They are structured as a couplet: they accompany each other, ending on the same sound. You know, they rhyme. The rhythm is more than just ending with a word that rhymes. Couplets generally need to be the same amount of syllables. Maybe I'm demanding too much poetic knowledge, but if Daniel is going to self-claim the title of poet, he should have at least peripheral knowledge, if not a substantial foundation. This is foundation. He should know how to create some rhythm, damn it! The lightning and the gazing are parallel, basically serving as a set up for the rest of the line. Here, he knocks it out the park: both are four syllables. The second half of the first line is seven syllables. The second half of the second line is eleven. And this is why, if you're wondering, it sounds so awkward when he says "walking through the door." He says it almost as if it should serve as one syllable. That's because it needs to be in order for the poem to maintain any rhythm. And don't even try and defend this as being a nitpick. Especially for spoken-word poetry, which is clearly how this poetry is designed--need I even point out the amount of rhyme-schemes, let alone that he's fucking dancing--rhythm is the most essential in this style. It's lazy. That's all it is. It's lazy. He picks a word that rhymes and that's enough for it to be poetry. After all, what else is poetry? It's shit that rhymes, duh! No wonder he's so good at it, he knows how to make words rhyme!
This leads me to my next point, which is how much this image makes no sense. Comparing just this poem to the only other one I've analyzed ("I'm a Statue"), it's clear "door" is a popular vocabulary word. It's a short, simple word, an easy image, and really easy to rhyme with. You know how you thought of writing poems when you were a kid? You would write a line, then you would sit there and start trying to come up with words that rhymed the last word of that line. "Or, door, more, tore, lore, sore, roar, whore, nor, store, poor, pour, pore, adore, etc." Given Dan the Poet Man's lazy vocabulary, you would think he'd be able to use those simple words to create a sensible image. That's the other major thing about poetry: creating images, communicating with images. So imagine seeing lightning flash, hearing the thunder roar. Simple enough. Now you gaze up. Alright, gazing upward. Now the love of your life walks through the door. Where in the hell did she come from? Who is she? Where did that door come from? Are we inside? I thought we were outside? If you go step by step, the final image is completely out of left field. All the images up to that point are outdoor images, gazing up is even an image associated with looking at the sky, especially when, you know, we were just talking about thunder and lightning. The image makes no sense. Before I was outside, clouds were dark and foreboding, rain and wind were whipping by my face; I'm startled by a bright flash of lightning, the thunder that follows, and I look up to the sky, squinting to keep the rain out of them. And then suddenly I'm in that stupid boring room Dan is recording himself in, crouching down like he does every thirty seconds, sort of looking up at the front door of his boring house. Complete deflation. The man has lived such a boring life that even his imagination is boring.
So she shows up, The Queen of the Thunder, right? What happens after that? She says, "I'm the Queen of the Thunder." Then Dan looks at her beauty and his heart and mind wonder. I don't know what they wonder, but whatever. She gave him three wishes, apparently. After hoping she might stay, she immediately is gone because the sun "came shining through the window." It's at this point I realize, even in his poem, he never leaves the house. So, again, by the end of the poem, he is just praying for the love of his life. Though he employs this genius move of calling rain, "tears," and the employs great imagery of "the lightning to fly." Then he yells that he can SEE THE RAIN AND THE BLUE SKY, because yelling also means excitement. Yelling means BE SHOCKED, THIS IS SUDDEN, AND I'M EXCITED, but not all at once. It just depends on what he's yelling. Then the weirdest line hits me.
And on our rainbow we can rejoice.
Okay, so rain and blue sky could lead to a rainbow, so I get why he's mentioning it. But why is this where "we" rejoice, specifically Dan and his Queen of the Thunder? Can't he just go outside whenever there's thunder and lightning? Rejoice with her then? And on the rainbow also makes no sense, but I guess suddenly we moved from being in a house to living in a fantasy world where rainbows aren't just reflections. Asking for consistency from Daniel Songer is definitely pushing it, I know.
He then says that she "came to me with love and wishes," even though he never really talked about the wishes. I'm really confused by this wishes thing. I almost want to go on another endless search to try and find some sort of complex allusion. More importantly, if she gives you three wishes, shouldn't we get to the part where you say what your wishes were? Or does she really just leave right after she offers them? In which case, wouldn't you be pissed? Whatever, he also does a weird thing when he says "eternity" where he seems to be reaching higher than he's capable.
What Exactly is Going On?
Once again, there is a dark undertone of lonliness. As I noted, though briefly, the poem actually takes place entirely indoors. This could almost be a childhood fantasy, where you're just lying in bed, or if you're an adult now, sitting in some recliner, and then magically a really hot woman shows up. A magical hot woman just shows up, and recall that though it's never said explicitly, Dan was on his knees. I mean, he's "gazing up" at the door, and he does "stand up so that she could see something she might like." So he wasn't standing up before. You could easily turn this into a poem about how he was busy praying like hell for a hot woman to magically materialize, and then BAM she came walking through the door. It definitely has that element.
It's sadder than the lonely childhood fantasy, though, because even in his imagination, Dan can't keep the woman there long enough to grant him his three wishes. Even in his imagination, after standing up hoping she might find him attractive, she pretty much vanishes before conversation. All he can do, yet again, is "hope and pray" for her to come back. He's so damn passive in these poems. He's always pleading his case for someone to love him, come to him, or come back to him. Part of me wants to dig into marital undertones, like he went through some sort of divorce or horrible break up. Both poems thus far reveal lonliness and a heavily passive approach to love, as if he's either uninterested in putting in the effort or that he's willing to for anyone. The thing about this poem is, though, it has an undertone of abandonment. I'm starting to feel trapped in that room Dan's filiming himself in, as if he spends all his free time there.
...Then again, for all we really know, he might be far more well-adjusted than I am.
Timeline.
This video was uploaded on June 2nd, 2007. It has over 1,800 views and seven likes and dislikes. Three comments, none of which are of note. Unless you count "ur gay." No, seriously.
Presentation.
The first and most notable thing is Daniel's outfit. A suit and tie isn't particularly exciting or new, but also notice the hat. I don't know if you've ever been to a poetry reading, "poetry slam," or open mic night, but generally poets have a dress that is semi-professional but also artsy. Dan goes full on business, except he adds the hat. My best explanation is that in his imagination, this is what classy, professional poets look like. Think of how you thought of poetry and poets when you were ten and assumed all poets were boring old white dudes who lived in the forties or something. This is what Daniel Songer is doing in 2007 as middle aged adult.
It's not just the hat, though. Note the setting. He deliberately chose to film in front of the fireplace in what looks like my grandmother's house. There is a bland painting and everything. If the setting and outfit aren't enough to make sure you know he's a poet, he also talks in a deliberately low voice, as if he is on some late night radio show. Hang on, though, are you still not convinced he is a poet? It isn't enough to mention that he has books on Amazon, he needs to bring them with him and show you.
As he recites his poem, this is where the comically bad sets in. I think what happened here is that Dan confused emphasis of voice with emphasis of gesture. When you read a poem, part of it is the cadence, especially in this style of poetry where everything is trying to rhyme. This poem has a rhythm--or should, anyway--and the recitation should try to capture that. He doesn't completely fail here, so I won't pick on him for that, but his physicalization of the poem is just absurd.
What the hell is he doing with his right hand? Did you notice this? He holds his right hand up in a fashion that almost looks closed, but his index finger, pinky, and thumb are out in a way that looks as if he is counting. Maybe he's counting all the things he is, making sure he isn't leaving any out. I think sometimes he is gesturing a hand out to his side or to the camera, but then he forgets what he's doing with it and lets it rest awkwardly where he left it. Like Mr. Burns keeps his arms rested limply in front of him.
The best part on this delivery, however, isn't when he readjusts his clothing or leaves his hand floating off to the side. The moment comes when recites the line, "take my hand, and great fortune is what you'll be seeing." At this point he is reaching out to the audience, but to make sure it's truly felt, he crouches down. Take note: He does not get down on one knee. He crouches. The distinction is essential. Dan wants to provide some sincere, dramatic moment by lowering himself when he offers his hand. It resembles the accepted custom of a man asking for a woman's hand in marriage. By lowering himself, the man's question becomes a humble request. It's not only romantic, it emphasizes the woman's power and choice in the situation, as if it would be a great honor if she would spend her life with this lower being. This is what Mr. Songer is trying to accomplish, though I don't think he's doing it consciously. And yet it's very clear this is what's happening here. He's offering his hand, but he's too damn old and out of shape to get on one knee and then get back up in a few seconds. It's not that this is somehow different than the marriage request metaphor, that somehow crouching sends a different message that's equally as deliberate and useful here. It's that the crouching is just the closest he can get to getting down on one knee. And if all this isn't enough, he remains crouched for over ten seconds as he continues to deliver additional lines.
Content.
The problem with Daniel Songer portraying himself as 10-year-old-imagined poet is that his delivery, right from the beginning, undercuts his authority. He might toss the books aside or adjust the hell out of his pants and then his tie, but the dead giveaway really is the first few words after his little introduction.
I'd like to do a few poems for you...out of my book, "I'm a Statue." The first one's titled, "I'm a Statue."
Given a more artful sentence structure, it might not sound so redundant. But he doesn't soften the blow with any qualifying clauses. A good way to handle this smoothly would be, "I'd like to do a few poems out of my book, 'I'm a Statue.' This is from my collection of poems, called 'I'm a Statue,' after this poem." So it might still be as awkward as crab walking at fifty, but at least it shows a level of self-awareness. Instead, he just repeats the phrase "I'm a Statue" as if you've never heard it before. Yeah, you mean, the title of the book you just mentioned in the last sentence?
A good poem communicates through powerful and/or parallel imagery. For example, imagine a poem with three stanzas all creating three different images: a dusty, crooked street sign; an empty house with faded paint, and dried up pen hidden under a box. What do all these images have in common? What conclusions could we draw based on these images being described in the poem? They're all lonely images, there is an implication of neglect or having been forgotten entirely. And through this analysis we can discover a deeper meaning or message within this poem.
Let's examine Dan's images, shall we? Let's just list here, briefly, everything that he is: picture, reflection, window, door, statue, being, reality, and dream. Every stanza begins with two images. Now, maybe I can see deliberately conflicting images, like window and door, statue and being, reality and dream. The problem is that picture and reflection don't fit this mold. They're not really opposites. Now what would Dan the Poet Man be trying to accomplish by describing himself as a contradiction? Is this supposed to be like that Alanis Morrisette song where he's everything, including a bitch, mother, lover, and other boring nouns? There is no creative connection that I can see, at least not intentional. Window and door and statue and being aren't really opposities. I am really just trying too hard.
Is there anything else to really say about the content? I do see a pattern, don't you? My assumption is that each stanza is four lines, and that the first line is always, "I'm a something, I'm a something." The following line is then, "whatever it is that rhymes with something." I want to look at the second half of two stanzas.
The moon is rising. The sun is falling.
I look for love and hope that it will come calling.
So the third line of the first stanza is indicating night. But the following stanza has to do with him looking for love, hoping it will come. I am going to dig in deeper here as a precursor to the next section, because I, again, don't see this as intentional. Two cliché images: moon and sun, rising and falling. Other than days going by and night being on the horizon, I'm not sure what else he's going for other than setting up the rhyme for "calling." Though unintentional, there is something very depressing about looking for love as night is on the rise. Searching for something in the dark is not a very promising endeavor. The fact that he's simply hoping that love "will come calling" is also not too exciting, because he's not actively finding it. I can't help but think this guy is really lonely. Allow me to quickly glance at the final half-stanza before I move on.
Here I stand with open arms
For all eternity.
I don't have many words for this. Sad. Dan is waiting, eternally, for love to come calling, for someone to "pursue" him "and make the quest." Maybe this part was done intentionally, but mostly, I think this is just a part of something else.
What Exactly is Going On?
This whole poem is sad and lonely, even though all it talks about is love. The implication, at every moment, is that Daniel Songer is looking or pleading a case for love, usually in a fashion that involves waiting or getting someone else to come to him. Self-publishing books and uploading himself reciting these poems on YouTube only reinforces this hope that if he just puts himself out there that some special person will come find him. I don't think it's intentional,but I do think it's awfully revealing that the first poem he uploads is called "I'm a Statue." Hell, he named the entire collection of poems after this title. Given that he is a shit ton of things, according to this poem, why isn't it called "I'm a Reality"? I'll tell you why: because that's not the image he most relates to. He relates to the statue because he's cold and lonely as stone, and is hoping someone will walk by, see its beauty and find love. Take a look at just a few of the lines in this poem more closely.
Here I stand full of affection.
If you look into my heart, love will be your addiction.
Take my hand, and great fortune is what you'll be seeing.
Persue me, and make the quest.
I hope and pray for love between you and me.
Here I stand. Notice he's not moving in the direction of love. He is stagnant. The following three cherry-picked lines all involve "you" whether implicit or explicit. All you have to do is look into his heart. If you do that, love will be your addiction. It's about you giving him a chance. He's already willing, he's where he needs to be, that's why he's standing. You just have to make the little leap. Just take his hand, just make the quest, and your life will be the best. Finally, as if this isn't desperate enough, the final line is "hope and pray" for love. He even gesticulates prayer. Not to make too big a dig at the religious notion of prayer, but it is often mistaken for action. Someone can pray long and hard for the sick and homeless, but if they still don't donate money to causes or help a homeless man themselves, they're not a part of the solution. Dan wants love between you and me so badly he is hoping and praying, but he's still just standing as still as a statue.
