Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head

Video 4/240  Day 41/365

Timeline.
June 5th, 2007.  This uploaded only three days after he uploaded his three poems.  This is edited very similarly to his poems.  This one has been viewed far more than any of his poetry has, however, over 4500 times.  It has 13 likes and 20 dislikes, so it's still pretty heavily disdained, but this one also has eleven comments, including two top commenters.  Halo0freak (with four thumbs up) claims to know Daniel Songer personally, saying his dad and Dan are best friends.  I'm not sure I really believe him, but I also don't know why he would care to lie.  RobotBacon points out a part he finds particularly amusing, and he got two thumbs up for it.  There are other comments of note, but my favorite is from Stereobarf, who politely tells Daniel that he needs to take singing lessons.

Presentation.
The biggest highlight for me on this thing is that, despite his editing technique where he is pausing and playing this video in the upper right corner, Dan is nowhere to be found as the video begins.  He's clearly got the camera on the tripod, about to run out in front of the camera.  Why can't he just edit this part out?  I don't know, maybe it's his thing, whatever.

So, as a song, Dan the Poet Man has created a completely new atmosphere from his poems.  Now we're outdoors, specifically in Dan's rural suburban back yard.  I don't know, maybe I'm going a little crazy from watching these videos, but I really like this change in scenery. I'm probably a little crazy already.  It's certainly cheap and kind of funny, but for Daniel Songer Standards(tm) this is pretty nice.  I think that small space in front of the fireplace, all that clothing, and seeing Dan from head to toe, all together provided a very claustrophobic feeling.  The outdoors is almost a literal breath of fresh air.  And it's not just the outdoors, it's his outfit, too.  Just a nice button-up collar, no suit jacket, no tie, and definitely no goddamn hat.  At the beginning of this video, I'm not actually to upset.  He's not going to have as much to fiddle with, he won't be able to crouch because he'll be off camera, and all things considered, this presentation actually feels honest and genuine.  So, Daniel Songer is being honest?

Let me explain: Everything about Dan's presentation as Poet was extremely fake and pretentious.  He was trying to embody some image that he felt fit a poet persona.  From his clothing to where he decided to film, which was naturally in front of a fireplace and a generic painting.  It was clearly not something Mr. Songer would normally wear or how he would normally act.  Perhaps this location and dress fits his singer persona, but I would argue, regardless, that this still fits more his actual personality.  Even when he walks into the frame, he turns and smiles pretty naturally with a loud and exuberant, "HEY!"  I think I'm falling in love.

Okay, I think I've exhausted the positive.  Immediately following his entrance, Dan introduces himself, making sure to note that he is a singer, song writer, poet, and he's "a dancer, too."  I don't recall him mentioning this in the opening of his first poem, which makes me think this is an added interest he's taken on.  Just like with the poems, he needs to show off his books, though it looks like he just printed out his manuscripts, rather than buy the versions he self-published.  Kind of removes a level of authority behind that whole, "I'm a writer" thing.  Why does he feel the need to show us these?  In what way does this serve anything?  I really don't get the showing them just to clearly drop them in the grass.  He could always put links in the description, but instead all that does is talk about him briefly in the third person.  Did you also notice is "author photo" on the back of his one book of songs?  I want that picture.

My favorite part of all this is his lead in to singing "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."  There's a part around 0:48 where he looks completely away from the camera while he adjusts his pants, which he then follows by running his hands through his hair.  He's blinking a lot here, using a number of "uhs," and I can't help but think he's gotten suddenly very nervous.  I don't think there's necessarily anyone too close by that he's noticing, I really think that he's just genuinely nervous to sing.  Usually this is a sign.  He even puts his hand up to his mouth, too.  And without much warning, he just starts singing.  Well, if you can call it that.

Right as he starts, he holds his left hand up to his mouth as if holding an invisible microphone.  I love the invisible microphone.  He puts it down quickly, though, maybe even being a bit self-conscious.  Over and over, then, he lifts up his left hand in that awkward not entirely open way, then opens it, then re-not-entirely-closes-it, and puts it down.  Rinse and repeat.  He does this at least five times.  At least.  It slightly varies, but it's not until around 1:29 where he holds onto "you," where he keeps the hand up and open long enough for it to be considered a change in this pattern.  He is also swinging his hips just ever so slightly and awkwardly.  And then, slowly but surely as Daniel Songer's passionate "singing" crescendoes, he can no longer keep himself from the invisible microphone.  It makes for a beautiful screencap.  I'm going to make this into a meme.

And there's no holding back once we get here.  Whatever nervousness and trepidation he might have felt at the beginning of this song, it's washed away while he tone-deafly belts to the sky, sprinkling invisible rain on himself.  He brings back that hand wash movement which occasionally turns into the invisible microphone.  I also thoroughly enjoy his eyes close because he must be enjoying himself that much.  I have to hand it to him, for a guy with such little talent and skill, he definitely approaches everything with a lot of passion.

As abruptly as he began singing, he drops his gaze immediately to his song book and says in a low voice, "thank you."  He opened up in song, but it really does seem like he's really awkward about it.  He is quickly paging through his songbook, and he's even self-conscious enough to use the phrase "I like to consider myself," rather than just forthrightly saying he is "a Christian song writer," as he more or less did in the opening.  And then the video just ends.  I really have to say, at least all the others attempted to create a stopping point.  This one just ends, "I'd like to share, uh," END.

Content.
Originally I figured that the lyrics of this song weren't Daniel's own, assuming they were just B.J. Thomas's "Raindrops Keep Falling on My Head."  I was going to just move on, especially since I discussed much of the introductory and conclusive material surrounding the song was in the presentation section.  All I was planning to do was just question exactly how right Mr. Stereobarf really was about those singing lessons.  And I will.  Believe me, I will.  But I had gotten my hopes up, based really just on title recognition, that I wouldn't have to discuss Dan's writing again.  But, alas, I really do.  And it really doesn't take long to reconsider this whole project, does it?

The tune of the song is clearly robbed directly from Thomas's song, but for some reason after the first line he is allowed to make up his own lyrics.  They also happen to avoid a little thing we call making sense, too.  Just consider the first two lines.

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head
And that ain't the way I feel about you, babe

What?  WHAT?!  What does raindrops falling on my head have anything to do with the way I feel about someone?  It's a sad image?  But she doesn't make him sad?  I'm really just offended by this.  There's no other way to explain it.

Cryin's not for me
'Cause I'll never ever the rain from keep fallin'

I'm seriously considering the idea that he just made these up on the spot.  I don't mean when he apparently san this at some concert.  Did he really sing this at something called "The Doobie Brothers Concert?"  I mean that right now, while he's recording this, he's making this shit up.  It's the best explanation, because even in my stretch of trying to understand the first two lines, they are contradicted (if that's really even possible with such nonsense) by the following two lines.  I say this because now he would never stop the rain from falling.  Also, crying isn't for him.  Whatever.  Trying to break this stuff down is actually making me angry.

That is why all the girls in town
Follow me all around
Just like you, they long to be
Close to me

Why do the girls follow him around?  Is it because he'll never stop the rain from falling?  Because I didn't realize he actually had that power, or that the girls would follow him around because of it.  Are they wearing umbrellas?  Please tell me they're wearing umbrellas.

On the day that I was born the angels got together
And decided to create a dream come true

No.  They didn't.  They really, really didn't.

So they sprinkled [something] in my hair and in my eyes so blue!

It gets way too intense here for me to figure out exactly what is being sprinkled in his hair and eyes.  Also, remember the "eyes so blue" line.  I'm pretty sure this comes back.  Most importantly, this is the first time it seems Dan is just a confident man.  He's just so badass that when he was born, angels got together to sprinkle something awesome onto him.  I guess he's always been a dream come true, even in his poetry.  His smile was something you would "always adore," etc.  It's just he's not waiting for love.  Instead, all the girls and "you," who I assume is his love, long to be close to him.  I guess it is still about love, and again, it's not like he needs to be with them, they want to be with him.  So there is still a hint of passiveness involved.  He just needs or has people who already see his beauty.  And then, finally, he returns to what must be the chorus or refrain, which is the four lines about the girls and "you."  And then, thankfully, it's over.

Now I don't need to explain the basic tenets of music or anything, because anyone, whether capable or not of singing themselves, can easily hear that Mr. Songer is not a singer.  Instead of trying to go through and point to the notes he's reaching vs. the notes he should be reaching, which would be a feat of its own and done by someone who can figure out notes by hearing them pretty reliably, I'm just going to note my favorite humorously bad parts: Around 1:34 he tries to be especially musical in his singing "me."  It's all especially off key.  Right around 1:44 he is singing about creating "a dream come true," but he's so out of breath I don't here the "a."  It gets worse as he continues, because he's not entirely decipherable, and I'm pretty sure he actually skips over the word "eyes" in "eyes so blue."  And he's also just yelling by this point.

What exactly is going on?
As I sort of noted in the content section, it's clear that Daniel Songer is extremely full of himself.  I never really got to this part in the poems, but it was more subtle there.  The idea is always that the woman or women needed to come to him, but there was also just this idea that he's just so fucking awesome and they just had to see it.  Because he's not just a reality, ladies, he's a dream.  And he's so damn awesome that on the day he was born, the angels got together to make a dream come true, and that's Dan the Poet Man.  He's got something awesome sprinkled in his hair and his "eyes so blue."  Mmm, those eyes are so blue.  Alright then, Dan, you're an amazing catch.  Good thing the ladies are already following you "all around."

From the presentation section, though, you might have gathered I was hinting at something else, which is that in this one, especially, he is really awkward.  He starts and ends very suddenly, unlike any of the poems.  In the poems he fiddles with his jacket, pants, tie, whatever is nearby.  In this one he just "uhs" and looks off camera a lot, which is more awkward than than before.  I honestly think he's actually a little uncomfortable about singing on camera.  I'm not sure it's a layer of self-consiousness about his tone-deaf singing, though.  It's clear, once he finally loosens up, that he really lets the song take him away, and I think he's actually awkward because it makes him somewhat vulnerable.  Just like I said about the location and his dress, it seems that even if this is the singer persona, it's more aligned with his actual personality.  What I mean is, I think he's sincerely opening up here.

My Georgia Peach

Video 3/240 Day 27/265

Timeline.
June 2nd, 2007.  The last of the poems, this room, and this outfit.  All three were updated on the same day and clearly edited from the same footage.  This one comes in at a humble third place in views, too, totaling just over 1500.  It has six likes and seven dislikes.  It has only three comments. Four years ago johnnymilkshark wrote "You are one of a kind."  Three years ago felixcostello wrote, very astutely, "what the FUCK."  Indeed, felix, indeed.  Finally, only three months ago (showing people are still stumbling across Daniel Songer and the ass-end of the internet), Mr. angrygrunt commented, "u suck."  All of these commenters show their own uniqe and accurate insight.

Presentation.
You would think by now, given this is the third video of Dan the Poet Man from the same footage, that I would be out of insight into his presentation.  It's true that I've exhausted much, if not all, there is to his overused gesticulations, ridiculous outfit, and bland setting.  It's true that I've explored much of the poor editing. But is it true I've said all there is to say?  Yes.  No!  I'm just getting started!  This video's gesticulations strike with avengence, bringing in a whole new breed of weird and stroke-like physicalization!  You thought there was nothing left to say about Daniel Songer crouching?  You.  Thought.  Wrong.

These things have begun to make me nauseous: putting his hand out up and open, leaving his hand off to the side awkwardly and not fully closed, putting his hands up in a W, fiddling with his pants, jacket, or tie, gesturing to the air with his right hand, and when he thinks yelling his poem somehow provides intensity.

So the crouching only happens twice in this video, which is still two times too many, but in the analysis of Mr. Songer, it's a relief.  Notice, in the first crouch around 0:19, where he is clearly pulling up his pant legs so he can get down.  He doesn't even do it smoothly.  Not that it isn't already awkward and weird, but now it's embarassing.  Also, in the second crouch around 0:50, did you notice anything else he just won't stop doing?  Fiddling with that damned tie.  A huge part of these videos is performance.  Dan clearly understands this: over gesticulating, spinning around, wearing that hat, but he doesn't rehearse, film again, or even know the basics.  This is the kind of stuff you do in the mirror, alone with the door shut.  The stuff you do on film and stage takes time and practice.  Not to mention this thing we call effort.  It's strikingly obvious, not just in the stupid things he thinks are a good idea, but more emphatically in these little things he's less conscious of, that he is just winging it.  It's true that he's written these poems, but even these poems come off as extremely early rough drafts done by an eighth grader.  He clearly has never exposed them to sincere, in depth criticism, whether from himself or others, and it's highly unlikely he's ever changed them from their first incarnation.  And this bleeds more heavily in these three videos, all clearly edited from one straight shot of footage, that he takes the same approach in his acting.  This is not okay.

The only thing I noticed that's particularly new is a circular motion Dan makes with his hand.  It happens around 0:43 when he says, "I came to Atlanta" and at 1:04 when he says, "I traveled all over the world."  So whenever you're trying to tell someone of your travels, and you want to express that physically (if, say, English is their second language or they're hard of hearing), the best way to do it is to lift your right hand up and spin it around in a circle.  Either do it at the wrist like he does the first time, with his index finger out, so you basically look like gay dancer, or torque at the elbow with your hand completely open, so it looks like you're wafting some horrible smell out of your ear.  Seriously, what made him think that these motions in any way capture or emphasize what he's saying?  I can't find any reasonable justification for this that isn't stretching thin.  So let's stretch!  Spinning your hand around captures "around" really well!  Normally you would do that in front of you, not up and to the right, and usually with both hands, and even that is still kind of weird, but whatever.  The finger in the first one was somehow pointing to an invisible globe with Atlanta on it.  That's why he implements the index finger the first time and not the second.

One final thing about Dan's presentation, given that this is the last of his poetry videos: I don't think I can properly emphasize just exactly how bad his presentation is.  The best way for me to try and explain it is to describe an alternative.  Imagine Daniel Songer was just a bit more flexible, energetic, expressive, or eccentric.  More eccentric?  More eccentric in his physicality, less monotonous, dull, and redundant.  This is why he crosses that threshold from comically bad to painfully bad.  What if he ran in place, put his hand up to shield his eyes from a pretend sun and scanned that room?  What if he stopped, pointed at the camera, as if he had found the love of his life?  You know, as if he was the host of Blues Clues or some other children's show.  At least then he would be funny.  One of these videos might have even gone viral.  Instead, he does the same things over and over again.  There is not a single gesticulation in any video that he only does once.  This is the depth of the horror that is watching Dan the Poet Man.  This is the heart of the awful awful beast.

Content.
My Georgia Peach is absolutely shocking at times.  This poem, unlike "I'm a Statue" or "Queen of the Thunder," truly takes me by surprise and even makes me feel uncomfortable.  Any religious undertones in the first two, such as "hope and pray," are suddenly full blown Bible belt religious right homophobic preaching.  It practically comes out of nowhere in the poem itself, too.

You can be a woman, or you could be a girl.
Open your heart, and you'll find beauty.
Just as you open a shell to find a beautiful pearl.

You can put on your business look, or you can put on your athletic wear.
You can put on your birthday suit,
if you dare.

Today we have police women, muscle-bound women, and women who search for their career.
Out of all the women in this world,
It is the transvestites, I fear.

 The first stanza is standard for Daniel Songer Poetry(tm).  It's just awkward, shitty rhythm about love and a woman.  Originally I just thought he was trying to be funny with the next stanza, but under the surface it is extremely creepy and mysoginistic.  Right now he's talking to a woman, or a girl, and she has apparently three looks she could do: business, athletic, or naked.  Wink wink women (or girls who like pedophiles), you can put on your birthday suit. If you dare.  Really Dan, as if you weren't creepy enough?  And the next stanza increases this exponentially.  It turns into a preachy, almost "did you know?!" poem, where today we live in a world where women can be police officers, have muscles, or even careers!  Get back in the kitchen.  And the creepy, mysoginistic, backwards frosting on this fucked up sundae comes courtesy of the last line in the third stanza.  Out of all kinds of women, he fears tranvestites.  All the women...transvestites...women...transvestites...  Of course, my first thought is Quagmire from Family Guy, constantly hitting on women at bars, desperate and over compensating, always with an undertone of homosexuality.  Holy crap.

I'm not sure what Mr. Songer's goal is in this poem, what exactly his overall message and theme of the poem are.  From the first three stanzas, it sounds like he's talking about how every girl, no matter what she wears, on the inside is a beautiful pearl.  Even if she is one of them strong career-type women that exist now.  Just not transvestites.  Ew.  The following stanzas are where it seems to turn into something preachy, some sort of religious message for his audience, when originally it seemed to be about "My Georgia Peach."  You know, Dan just waiting for love, as always.

God created man and woman in his image and gave us the opportunity to excel
I came to Atlanta to implement my career
And to find a beautiful angel they call the Southern Belle

 The first stanza seems to emphasize "man and woman in his image," as if to make sure we know that transvestites are not a part of God's plan.  They're gross and weird and ew.  Ew.  I still find it funny how he says "I came to Atlanta" because it's the gayest thing I've seen him do.  I'm also really uncertain about his use of the word "implement."  I think it might work, but you have to stretch it or go with its fourth definition.  In the final line we seem to get back to what I think is the original purpose of this poem: Dan's ideal lady.  That being said, it's still awfully mysoginistic.  Isn't the Southern Belle a more old south thing?  "Well I do say there, Mr. Songer, your cotton looks mighty fine today.  I made you some tea while you sit out here on this porch smokin' your pipe."  But it quickly dissolves back into that weird homophobic right wing message as he continues.

There's a lot of women in this world,
and you hope to find a woman that won't be a pretender.
My angel will come to me
And for her my heart I will surrender.

 You hope to find a woman that won't be a pretender.  You know, it's not really the first thing I'm worried about.  Hell, it's not even the 100th thing I'm worried about.  It's kind of something that I only worry about if she pulls down her pants and has a penis.  When I'm out looking for love, my first thought isn't whether or not she's a transvestite.  I'm really starting to wonder about Daniel Songer's past.  More importantly, is his real sexual preference, but more on that later.  Also, did you notice again that his angel will come to him?  He's certainly never going to be the one going to her: passive passive passive.  I also can't stand that he feels the need to yell at me, "FOR HER MY HEART I WILL SURRENDER."  I get it, geez.

I traveled all over the world to give love and the word of god, to teach
the South is where I want to be
and to live my life as one with god
as well as my Georgia peach

 So I don't really see Dan as the master of the sentence structure, and this by no means proves me wrong.  That first line is just atrocious.  I feel like he could have just given love and the word of god, but for some reason he felt the need to add "to teach" at the end.  I also don't entirely understand why he feels that the South is necessary in order to live his "life as one with god."  Hang on, let's get really nitpicky for a second.  Did you notice the use of the word "as" in this?  Don't most people just live their life one with god?  Think of it like this: "to live my life one with god."  Isn't that enough?  What purpose, exactly, does the word "as" serve in this sentence?  Yes, I'm seriously asking!  All the word "as" does here is weaken the conviction and image Dan the Poet Man is creating.  Basically, he isn't going to live his life one with god, he's going to life his life as one with god, like being one with god, kind of similarly to living life one with god.  I guess he's not too confident in his abilities to be an extreme Southern religous individual.  Only in his fear of transvestites, maybe.  And finally, in the last line, we get the title.  Whatever.

What exactly is going on?
I don't feel I really need to reiterate his passiveness for love.  I've gotten into this a bit, but Daniel Songer reveals an intensely religous side and some serious homophobia.  The "women" he fears most are tranvestites, and the logistics of that sentence aside, he feels the need to emphasize this issue when he hopes the woman he finds "won't be a pretender."  What does his search for love have to do with transvestites?  Can't he let them do their thing and he can do his?  Of course not, because "god created man and woman in his image," which--even though includes the ability to give/have sex changes--does not include pretenders.  And in addition to his overwhelming fear of "fake women," Dan's "traveled to Atlanta" motion is, without a doubt, really gay.  This is not to say he necessarily has to be gay because he does a motion that's really effeminate, but it's clear that there is a side to himself he fears.  Oh Mr. Untrained-Not-Actually-A-Psychologist thinks he can claim Daniel Songer is projecting his fear of himself onto transvestites.  I'm not claiming to have some sort of reliable knowledge when it comes to the study of Psychology, I'm just calling it like I see it.  And it seems to me that Daniel Songer is scared of transvestites and is kind of effeminate.  Draw whatever conclusions from that you want.

But it's really the religious overtones that got me in this one.  Atlanta, The South, living life "as" one with god, god creating "man and woman in his image," etc.  It's fine to believe in god and--in this particular religion--Jesus, and sure, you know, preach it if you want, but it's how it ties in with the rest of his views.  Dan notes that he wants to be in The South, because, I assume, that the Bible Belt has better Christians.  Whatever-who-cares-deal-with-it.  Couple this with his notion "the Southern Belle," and the "informative" stanza about how today we have "police women," hell, even "muscle-bound women!"  That's so crazy!  Fine, so Dan is from another era, but notice that he still wants a woman from that previous era, the not-really-in-existent-anymore Southern Belle.  Certainly in these days we've got them police women, but hell if I still don't want me a good ol' home cookin' honey.  Meh, I don't really care.  He wants what he wants.  Still, it's revealing.